


four humans and an elf (they're all dumb)

by hollowho



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Romance, Texting, and rayla's still an elf, but he knows some shit, everyones over 18 here, except for ezran he's like 15, im sorry, just a dumb chatfic, mentions of nudity, theres still magic actually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-01-23 15:16:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18552376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollowho/pseuds/hollowho
Summary: [gandalf the Smart]: gotcha[dr.dolittle]: i will murder you in your sleep[gandalf the Smart]: not if i die first[dr.dolittle]: wait[dr.dolittle]: i[dr.dolittle]: no





	1. Modelling and Making Out Sessions

**Author's Note:**

> i noticed that weren't any dumb chatfics for this fandom so i made my own dumb chatfic
> 
>  
> 
> i regret nothing

_soren’s poetry club_

 

_thursday, 6:30 pm_

 

[gandalf the dumb]: guys

 

[gandalf the dumb]: GUYS

 

[gandalf the dumb]: I NEED HELP

 

[sorry-en]: _*break dances gently*_ whats wrong bro

 

[dr.dolittle]: _*break dances gently*_ what's wrong bro

 

[gandalf the dumb]: you two stop that

 

[w(b)itch]: are u okay callum? what happened?

 

[w(b)itch]: also who did this to my name

 

[gandalf the dumb]: thank you for being the only considerate person in this groupchat claudia

 

[gandalf the dumb]: and i’m pretty sure it was rayla

 

[gandalf the dumb]: anyways

 

[gandalf the dumb]: my art teacher said that we have to draw our next piece using a model

 

[gandalf the dumb]: like

 

[gandalf the dumb]: we need to find someone who is willing to sit for 3-5 hours and draw them

 

[w(b)itch]: thats ur problem??

 

[w(b)itch]: i could be ur model then

 

[gandalf the dumb]: the model has to be naked tho

 

[w(b)itch]: w ell nevermind

 

[gandalf the dumb]: see

 

[w(b)itch]: why do u take those art classes anyway

 

[w(b)itch]: arent u a primal magic major?

 

[gandalf the dumb]: well i like them

 

[w(b)itch]: understandable have a nice day

 

[dr.dolittle]: look

 

[dr.dolittle]: theres someone else u could ask

 

[gandalf the dumb]: who

 

[dr.dolittle]: rayla

 

[gandalf the dumb]: No

 

[sorry-en]: why?

 

[rayray]: yeah callum, **_why?_ **

 

[rayray] also, hi claudia! i hope you liked your new name!

 

_w(b)itch changed their name to morgana_

 

_morgana changed rayray’s name to legolAss_

 

[legolAss] _bitch_

 

[morgana] _asshole_

 

[gandalf the dumb]: could you two please stop fighting im literally in the middle of a crisis here

 

[legolAss]: it's not that deep

 

[legolAss]: i can be your model

 

[legolAss]: it's not like you haven't drawn me before

 

[gandalf the dumb]: I Have No Idea What You Are Talking About

 

[legolAss]: i’ve seen your sketchbook callum

 

[gandalf the dumb]: shit

 

[sorry-en]: she caught u bro

 

[legolAss]: it’s pretty cute though don’t stop

 

[gandalf the dumb]: i

 

[gandalf the dumb]: thanks?

 

[legolAss]: don’t mention it

 

[dr.dolittle]: are you two done flirting or

 

[gandalf the dumb]: _ezran i swear to god-_

 

[gandalf the dumb]: anyways

 

[dr.dolittle]: you see neither of them denied anything

 

[gandalf the dumb]: _ANYWAYS_

 

[gandalf the dumb]: are you sure about this rayla? i dont want you to make you uncomfortable or something

 

[legolAss]: yeah yeah don’t worry

 

[legolAss]: it’s fine

 

[legolAss]: you’re my best friend callum

 

[legolAss]: just don’t make it weird and we’ll be okay

 

[morgana]: cuuuute

 

[legolAss]: claudia I Can And I Will stab you

 

[gandalf the dumb]: okay then

 

[gandalf the dumb]: so

 

[gandalf the dumb]: are you free this weekend? dad and ezran will go fishing this saturday so you could come over and

 

[gandalf the dumb]: you know

 

[legolAss]: yup

 

[legolAss]: it’s fine to me

 

[dr.dolittle]: i can’t wait to tell dad that callum will be alone with a naked girl during our fishing trip

 

[legolAss]: _listen here you LITTLE SHIT_

 

[sorry-en]: lol

 

_private chat: morgana and gandalf the dumb_

 

[morgana]: so

 

[morgana]: callum

 

[morgana]: u must be very excited for this weekend huh

 

[gandalf the dumb]: i know what youre implying

 

[gandalf the dumb]: stop it

 

[morgana]: oh calm down

 

[morgana]: im just saying that it must be really nice to be alone with ur crush on a saturday night

 

[morgana]: especially when said crush is _not going to wear a n y clothes_ ;)

 

[gandalf the dumb]: shut up claudia

 

[gandalf the dumb]: this is just for an assignment

 

[gandalf the dumb]: nothing more

 

[morgana]: but i can feel that you want it to be something more than an assignment

 

[morgana]: right?

 

[gandalf the dumb]:

 

[gandalf the dumb]: do you want me to lie

 

[morgana]: ASFGSAFNSFN I KNEW IT

 

[morgana]: SOREN OWES ME TWENTY BUCKS

 

[gandalf the dumb]: why are you two betting on my love life

 

[gandalf the dumb]: claudia?

 

[gandalf the dumb]: oh great shes gone

 

_soren's poetry club_

 

_saturday, 10:45 pm_

 

_dr.dolittle changed the chat's name to rayllum drama _

 

[dr.dolittle]: does anyone wants to know what happened when dad and i got home today

 

[sorry-en]: yes

 

[morgana]: yes please

 

[dr.dolittle]: ok so

 

[legolAss]: ezran don’t you dare

 

[gandalf the dumb]: ez please dont do this to your brother

 

[morgana]: hmmm something happened between u two then

 

[gandalf the dumb]: no nothing happened nothing at all

 

[sorry-en]: then why you dont want him to tell us?

 

[gandalf the dumb]: i

 

[gandalf the dumb]: well

 

[sorry-en]: i caught u bro

 

[gandalf the dumb]: i hate you

 

[dr.dolittle]: so, as i was saying

 

[dr.dolittle]: when dad and i got back from our fishing trip

 

[dr.dolittle]: which was very fun actually

 

[dr.dolittle]: we find the home completely silent

 

[morgana]: what?

 

[dr.dolittle]: that’s what i thought

 

[dr.dolittle]: dad says that they could be in callum’s bedroom finishing his assignment

 

[morgana]: wait

 

[morgana]: did u tell him what exactly they were doing?

 

[dr.dolittle]: of course not

 

[dr.dolittle]: so, when dad opens the door to callum's bedroom, what do you think he sees?

 

[dr.dolittle]: my brother on the bed, reading a book, while rayla was on his desk, checking her phone

 

[morgana]: oh

 

[morgana]: thats it?

 

[morgana]: :/

 

[dr.dolittle]: wait it gets better

 

[dr.dolittle]: after that, callum asks if rayla could sleep over today

 

[dr.dolittle]: it was pretty late, and her uncle already gave permission

 

[dr.dolittle]: dad looks at them, thinks a little, and simply says

 

[dr.dolittle]: “callum, your book is upside down”

 

[sorry-en]: wait, what?

 

[dr.dolittle]: long story short: my brother now has a girlfriend

 

[sorry-en]: WAIT, WHAT?

 

[morgana]: YESSSS CONGRATS YOU TWO

 

[morgana]: IM SO HAPPY IMAKLSHFLKAFNA

 

[legolAss]:i uh

 

[legolAss]: thanks? i guess

 

[sorry-en]: im happy for both of you but

 

[sorry-en]: how _exactly_ did this happen?

 

[gandalf the dumb]: you see

 

[gandalf the dumb]: i asked dad if he could pick up rayla today

 

[legolAss]: which he did

 

[gandalf the dumb]: yeah

 

[gandalf the dumb]: so, after brings her here and takes ez to their trip, me and rayla just stayed in the kitchen eating and talking about class and shit

 

[morgana]: okay okay i get it just skip to the part were you two make out

 

[gandalf the dumb]: calm down im getting to that

 

[gandalf the dumb]: after a while i look at rayla and ask her if shes ready for modelling

 

[gandalf the dumb]: and, i have to say, her flustered face is veeery cute

 

[legolAss]: shut up

 

[gandalf the dumb]: <3

 

[legolAss]:

 

[legolAss]: <3

 

[morgana]: OUCH MY HEART

 

[legolAss]: anyways

 

[legolAss]: after that we go to his bedroom to work on the

 

[legolAss]: uh

 

[legolAss]: assignment

 

[legolAss]: and then, after asking if i was okay with this for the hundredth time, he gestures to his bathroom and goes “well uh you can undress there i’ll wait for you here”

 

[legolAss]: of course, he said that stammering and with his eyes focused on the ceiling

 

[gandalf the dumb]: _i was nervous ok_

 

[legolAss]: and how do you think i was feeling?

 

[legolAss]: i enter the bathroom, thinking “okay rayla you got this you’re just going to get naked with the boy who’s also your crush stay calm”

 

[legolAss]: spoiler alert: i didn’t stay calm

 

[gandalf the dumb]: you had a crush on me?

 

[legolAss]: callum we’re dating

 

[gandalf the dumb]: uh

 

[legolAss]:

 

[sorry-en]: come on come on **TELL THE STORY**

 

[morgana]: _**SPILL THE TEA SIS** _

 

[legolAss]: so, after that, i came back into his room, and he just asks me to sit on his bed and pose to him

 

[sorry-en]: hmmm and what kind of pose did you do?

 

[morgana]: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[legolAss]: stop it you two

 

[legolAss]: i just… laid down on my side

 

[dr.dolittle]: like rose from titanic?

 

[legolAss]: yeah like that

 

[legolAss]: and stayed there for thirty minutes? i think?

 

[legolAss]: and then, suddenly, callum stops, drops the pencil, looks directly to my face and says

 

[legolAss]: “you're perfect”

 

[morgana]: OOOH MY GOD THIS IS JUST ASFASJKFBA

 

[legolAss]: and i’m like

 

[legolAss]: “holy shit since when callum knows how to be smooth? what do they teach on those primal magic classes?”

 

[sorry-en]: what did he do next?

 

[legolAss]: he just

 

[legolAss]: kept sketching

 

[legolAss]: while i stood there

 

[legolAss]: frozen

 

[legolAss]: until the drawing was finished

 

[dr.dolittle]: what?

 

[dr.dolittle]: callum, how can you just say something like that and then continue to draw like NOTHING HAPPENED?

 

[gandalf the dumb]: shit

 

[gandalf the dumb]: did i really said that

 

[gandalf the dumb]: now everything makes more sense

 

[dr.dolittle]: i

 

[dr.dolittle]: god

 

[gandalf the dumb]: so, after that, rayla went back to the bathroom to put her clothes back, while i cleaned up everything

 

[gandalf the dumb]: when she comes back, she looks at me, face totally red, and goes

 

[gandalf the dumb]: “d-did you mean it?”

 

[gandalf the dumb]: and i just stared back at her, confused

 

[gandalf the dumb]: “what”

 

[gandalf the dumb]: “you know, when you said that i was- i, uh…”

 

[gandalf the dumb]: “rayla i dont know what youre talking about”

 

[gandalf the dumb]: at this point i was already expecting her to drop it, or to call me dumb

 

[morgana]: i would

 

[gandalf the dumb]: i didnt expect the kiss tho

 

[sorry-en]: holy shit

 

[sorry-en]: thats when u two started to make out?

 

[gandalf the dumb]: yes

 

[sorry-en]: nice

 

[morgana]: make out sessions aside, how ur dad reacted when u told him?

 

[legolAss]: he cried

 

[morgana]: really?

 

[dr.dolittle]: yep

 

[dr.dolittle]: and then went into a rant about how happy he was that callum had found someone that really loved him back and how he always thought that they would end up together

 

[dr.dolittle]: you know

 

[gandalf the dumb]: we didnt tell him everything, actually

 

[legolAss]: yeah, he doesn’t know about all the nakedness and stuff

 

[morgana]: that makes sense

 

[morgana]: well now everyones happy

 

[morgana]: callum got a girlfriend

 

[morgana]: rayla got a boyfriend

 

[morgana]: and i got blackmail material on you two

 

[gandalf the dumb]: shit

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Pranks, Proposals And Divorces

_ rayllum drama _

_ sunday, 3:30 pm _

 

[dr.dolittle]: you know

 

[dr.dolittle]: when callum told me he got a girlfriend i got really happy

 

[dr.dolittle]: i was really happy that he was in a relationship with someone who likes him like that

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ but i don’t think i can handle them anymore please someone send help _

 

[morgana]:  _ are you seriously disrespecting my otp like that _

 

_ morgana changed their name to #1rayllumshipper _

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  _ rude _

 

[gandalf the dumb]: thats kind of creepy

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: is it tho

 

[gandalf the dumb]: also, can we change the chat name? its been a week already

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: fine

 

_ gandalf the dumb changed the chat’s name to  _ _ dumbsquad _

 

[dr.dolittle]: callum you’re the only dumb one here

 

[gandalf the dumb]:

 

_ gandalf the dumb changed their name to gandalf the Smart _

 

[gandalf the Smart]:  _ gotcha _

 

[dr.dolittle]: i will murder you in your sleep

 

[gandalf the Smart]: not if i die first

 

[dr.dolittle]: wait

 

[dr.dolittle]: i

 

[dr.dolittle]: no

 

[gandalf the Smart]:  _ gotcha _

 

[legolAss]: good morning everyone

 

[legolAss]: and why are you saying that you can’t handle us anymore, ez?  _ i thought you loved us _

 

[dr.dolittle]: i do love you guys

 

[gandalf the Smart]:  <3

 

[dr.dolittle]: but that doesn’t change the fact that you two are insufferable together

 

[gandalf the Smart]: </3

 

[sorry-en]:  _ you broke his heart ezran why did you do this  _

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ i had to soren _

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ you don’t understand _

 

[dr.dolittle]: so, callum and i have this little game where we prank each other sometimes

 

[sorry-en]: thats normal sibling behaviour for me

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: !!!!!!

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: soren you used a b i g word!!!!

 

[sorry-en]: i did!!!!

 

[sorry-en]: are u proud of me???

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: yes!!!!!

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ as i was saying _

 

[dr.dolittle]: the game usually ends with me winning because callum isn’t good with pranks

 

[dr.dolittle]: at all

 

[gandalf the Smart]: i take offense to that

 

[dr.dolittle]: but now that he’s combining his incredible stubbornness with rayla’s evil scheming mind

 

[legolAss]: aww you flatter me

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ they’re unstoppable _

 

[dr.dolittle]: this morning i woke up and found that, for some reason,  _ suddenly all my clothes had shrinked  _

 

[sorry-en]:  _ sORCERY _

 

[dr.dolittle]: no soren, it was not sorcery

 

[dr.dolittle]: apparently my evil brother and his equally evil girlfriend  _ replaced all the pieces of clothing i had with ones that are identical but also three sizes smaller! _

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: that was the most evil thing i have ever seen

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: callum, rayla, im proud of you both

 

[gandalf the Smart]: thanks

 

[legolAss]: thank you!

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ IN WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON? _

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  _ MY SIDE OBVIOUSLY _

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ UNDERSTANDABLE HAVE A NICE DAY _

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  _ NO U _

 

[dr.dolittle]: dangit 

  
  


_ dumbsquad _

_ monday, 7:43 pm _

 

[gandalf the Smart]: i cant believe runaan is the best uncle-in-law ever

 

[legolAss]: it’s been quite some time since he dragged you to the garage 

 

[legolAss]: is everything ok there?

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: whos runaan?

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: and what does uncle-in-law means?

 

[legolAss]: he’s my uncle, i live with him and his boyfriend

 

[legolAss]: and since callum’s my boyfriend, that kind of makes him his uncle-in-law

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: ooh i get it

 

[gandalf the Smart]: hes showing me pictures of baby rayla and i

 

[gandalf the Smart]: i cANT SHES TOO CUTE

 

[legolAss]: hE’S WHAT NOW

 

[gandalf the Smart]: rayla look i love you but i have to do this

 

_ gandalf the Smart changed legolAss name to purple naruto _

 

[purple naruto]: i’m breaking up with you

 

[gandalf the Smart]: babe no

 

[sorry-en]: im scared to ask

 

[sorry-en]: but what does that mean?

 

[gandalf the Smart]: well you see

 

[gandalf the Smart]: apparently when rayla was younger she used to run with her arms stretched behind her

 

[sorry-en]: so she used to do the naruto run?

 

[gandalf the Smart]: yes

 

[sorry-en]: amazing

 

_ purple naruto changed gandalf the Smart’s name to gandalf the Dead _

 

[purple naruto]: i want a divorce

 

[gandalf the Dead]: you cant divorce me were not even married

 

[purple naruto]: oh

 

[purple naruto]: wait a minute

 

[dr.dolittle]: what is happening?

 

[dr.dolittle]: callum, why are you in rayla’s house?

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[gandalf the Dead]: rayla took me here because she wanted to introduce me to her uncles

 

[gandalf the Dead]: as her boyfriend i mean

 

[gandalf the Dead]: i already knew them 

 

[sorry-en]: i know rayla since she came to our school and i never even seen her uncles

 

[dr.dolittle]: callum was the only one that she used to invite to hang out at her home

 

[gandalf the Dead]: yeah thats it

 

[gandalf the Dead]: wow claudia was right her crush on me was really obvious huh

 

[dr.dolittle]:the fact that you just noticed now makes it even worse

 

[dr.dolittle]: … callum?

 

[sorry-en]: lol i think u broke him

 

[gandalf the Dead]: sorry guys

 

[gandalf the Dead]: i was just trying to get over the fact that MY GIRLFRIEND JUST PROPOSED TO ME

 

[dr.dolittle]: WHAT

 

[sorry-en]: WHAT THE  **FUCK**

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: look i know i said that i supported you two and everything but dont you think youre taking this a little too fast?

 

[gandalf the Dead]: nah dont worry she divorced me already

 

[gandalf the Dead]: i cant believe you somehow got a ring, a tuxedo AND divorce papers just to make a joke

 

[purple naruto]: seeing your face after that was worth it

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: this might sound a little repetitive, but what  _ exactly  _ you did?

 

[purple naruto]: well you see

 

[purple naruto]: wait

 

[purple naruto]: i’ll add someone who can explain this better

 

_ purple naruto added grumpy dad and sunshine dad to the group _

 

[sunshine dad]: oooh whats this?

 

[purple naruto]: hi tinker! welcome to the dumbsquad

 

[sunshine dad]: rayla is that you?

 

[purple naruto]: you can blame callum for my name

 

[sunshine dad]:

 

[sunshine dad]: is it bad that i want you two to marry for real now?

 

[gandalf the Dead]: wow i like him already

 

[purple naruto]: you two stop that

 

[grumpy dad]: well

 

[grumpy dad]: it is a fitting username

 

[purple naruto]: runaan i can’t believe you betrayed me like this

 

[purple naruto]: i’m so mad at you right now

 

[grumpy dad]: you’re not

 

[purple naruto]: ...yeah i'm not  


 

[#1rayllumshipper]: okay that was pretty cute BUT! I! WANT! TO! KNOW! HOW! THE! PROPOSAL! HAPPENED!

 

[sunshine dad]: calm down young one

 

[sunshine dad]: _*clears throat*_

 

[purple naruto]: do you really have to write that  


 

[sunshine dad]: yes

 

[sunshine dad]: so

 

[sunshine dad]: i was on the kitchen, doing the dishes, when rayla ran to me looking like a fucking madwoman

 

[grumpy dad]: language

 

[sunshine dad]: shit sorry

 

[sunshine dad]: so then i ask her “oh little one what kind of thoughts are troubling your mind right now”

 

[sunshine dad]: to which she replies

 

[sunshine dad]: “i need a wedding ring”

 

[sunshine dad]: “why do you need a wedding ring?”

 

[sunshine dad]: “i'm going to propose to callum”

 

[sunshine dad]: “... right now?”

 

[sunshine dad]: “yes but i’m gonna divorce him later”

 

[sorry-en]: wild

 

[sunshine dad]: exactly what i thought

 

[sunshine dad]: “... do you want a tux to go with your proposal?”

 

[sunshine dad]: “yeah sure it will be cool”

 

[sunshine dad]: and thats it

 

[sunshine dad]: the looks on their faces were priceless

 

[dr.dolittle]: their?

 

[sunshine dad]: callum and runaan

 

[purple naruto]: runaan looked like he saw a ghost

 

[purple naruto]: and callum just froze

 

[gandalf the Dead]: well i mean

 

[gandalf the Dead]: it’s pretty difficult to find a reaction when the most beautiful woman in the world is proposing to you

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  _ smooth callum, smooth _

 

[grumpy dad]: i like him

 

[gandalf the Dead]: plus you looked pretty hot in that suit ;)

 

[grumpy dad]: ok you can stop now

 

[sunshine dad]: shes blushing :D

 

[purple naruto]: i hate everyone in this house


	3. Fellas Is It Okay To Punch An Old Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay in the upload, i'm currently trying to get into college so i don't have much time to write :p
> 
> anyways, this one has some feels on it, so i hope you all like it!

_ dumbsquad _

_ tuesday, 7:40 pm _

 

[sorry-en]: fellas is it okay to punch an old man?

 

[sorry-en]: asking for a friend

 

[gandalf the Dead]: i’m the friend

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: no???? why would u do that soren wtf

 

[sorry-en]: don’t worry i’m not going to punch a old man

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: oh ok

 

[gandalf the Dead]: but i will

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  **callum no**

 

[purple naruto]: ok but which old man are you punching?

 

[gandalf the Dead]: viren

 

[purple naruto]:  **let him do it claudia it’s necessary**

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  **I WON’T**

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: it is  **not** okay to punch people

 

[gandalf the Dead]: even if they deserve it?

 

[#1rayllumshipper]: even if they deserve it

 

[purple naruto]: but what did he do?

 

[purple naruto]: i’m not defending the guy, but it is very unusual for you to jump to aggression like this

 

[gandalf the Dead]: he was trying to bring zym to the lab

 

[purple naruto]:  _ callum take one of my knives and stab him _

 

[gandalf the Dead]:  _ will do _

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  _ you two stop that _

 

[sorry-en]: wait, one of your knives?

 

[gandalf the Dead]: she has a collection

 

[sorry-en]: why

 

[purple naruto]: why not

 

[purple naruto]: jokes aside, i actually don’t think we should resort to violence in this case

 

[purple naruto]: it’s better to report him or something

 

[purple naruto]: if we hurt him, he might try to do something after that, and then we’re stuck in a cycle

 

[gandalf the Dead]: wow that’s smart who told you that

 

[purple naruto]: you 

 

[purple naruto]: dummy

 

[gandalf the Dead]: 

 

[gandalf the Dead]: oh cool

 

[purple naruto]: unbelievable

 

[purple naruto]: so you’re okay now?

 

[purple naruto]: is angry callum gone yet?

 

[gandalf the Dead]: yeah he’s gone

 

[sorry-en]: thank god

 

[sorry-en]: angry callum is scary

 

[#1rayllumshipper]:  **very** scary indeed

 

[dr.dolittle]: no he’s not wtf

 

[gandalf the Dead]: no i’m not wtf

 

[purple naruto]: i mean

 

[purple naruto]: i guess you can be kind of

 

[purple naruto]: intimidating

 

[purple naruto]: sometimes

 

[dr.dolittle]: i don’t think my brother is capable of intimidating someone

 

[dr.dolittle]: even if he wanted

 

[sorry-en]: oh yeah, u werent there when those guys were making fun of ur guys aunt rite

 

[dr.dolittle]: ?

 

[#rayllumshipper]: oooh i remember that

 

[purple naruto]: me too

 

[purple naruto]: i don’t think i’ve ever seen callum cast  _ fulminis  _ that quick

 

[dr.dolittle]: 

 

[dr.dolittle]:  _ callum you did w h a t now???? _

 

[gandalf the Dead]: to my defense

 

[gandalf the Dead]: i didn’t  _ cast _ the spell at them

 

[sorry-en]: yeah bcus claudia stopped u 

 

[gandalf the Dead]: i just threatened them

 

[dr.dolittle]: do you really think this helps your case

 

[gandalf the Dead]: yes

 

[dr.dolittle]: okay, i think callum really could pass as intimidating for some people

 

[dr.dolittle]: if he tried like, reeeeally hard

 

[gandalf the Dead]: should i be offended 

 

[dr.dolittle]: yes

 

[gandalf the Dead]: ouch

  
  


_ dumbsquad _

_ wednesday, 9:00 pm _

  
  


_ gandalf the Dead changed their name to strange _

 

[strange]: that nickname was getting old

 

[strange]: also

 

_ strange changed #1rayllumshipper’s name to goth _

 

_ strange changed sorry-en’s name to jock _

 

[purple naruto]: i get soren and claudia’s names

 

[purple naruto]: which are pretty good actually

 

[strange]: thank you

 

[purple naruto]: but yours???

 

[strange]: it’s because i’m still in college

 

[strange]: so i’m just strange

 

[strange]: BUT

 

[strange]: when i finish it and get my doctorate i will became Dr.Strange

 

[strange]: Sorcerer Supreme

 

[purple naruto]: 

 

_ purple naruto changed strange’s name to dumbledore _

 

[dumbledore]: wow that’s… actually not insulting me, for once  


 

[purple naruto]: read it again

 

[dumbledore]: ok

 

[dumbledore]: 

 

[dumbledore]:  _ fuck you _

 

[goth]: !!!!!

 

[goth]:  _ callum said the f word oh god oh god  _

 

[jock]:  **_ITS A CODE RED REPEATING ITS A CODE RED THIS IS NOT A DRILL_ **

 

[dumbledore]: i’m zapping both of you 

 

[goth]: wow

 

[jock]: first a f-word, and now ur threatening your friends?

 

[jock]: dating rayla rlly changed u bro

 

[purple naruto]: don’t mind him

 

[purple naruto]: he’s just a little grumpy because he lost his sketchbook

 

[purple naruto]: we’re searching for at least an hour now

 

[goth]: and what  _ exactly _ are you doing in his house?

 

[purple naruto]: i was helping him with a project for class

 

[goth]: hmmmm like that art project you  _ helped him _ ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[purple naruto]:  _ why did you did this to me claudia oh god _

 

[goth]: what

 

[grumpy dad]: what is she talking about rayla?

 

[purple naruto]:  _ hahaha she’s not talking about anything right claudia???? _

 

[goth]: i'm just talking about the art project that made you and callum start dating

 

[goth]: nothing else :)

 

[grumpy dad]: now that i think about it

 

[grumpy dad]: you never told us how did you two started your relationship, actually

 

[purple naruto]: uh

 

[dumbledore]: i had to find a model for an art project, and i asked rayla if she was willing to do it for me

 

[dumbledore]: and i, uh, kind of confessed? that i liked her??? by accident???

 

[dumbledore]: and here we are

 

[grumpy dad]: how do you confess by accident?

 

[purple naruto]: don’t worry

 

[purple naruto]: callum is just Like This

 

[dumbledore]: hey

 

[sunshine dad]: wait, i think i remember talking with the college’s art teacher about this assignment

 

[sunshine dad]: weren’t you supposed to just find photos of models?

 

[dumbledore]: wait what

 

[sunshine dad]: i was giving a ride for the son of a friend of ours who is in their class

 

[sunshine dad]: it was some days before rayla went to help you, and they mentioned that you could just use the internet for the models

 

[purple naruto]:  _ wait what _

 

[dumbledore]: so

 

[dumbledore]: i think i might have misheard that part…

 

[purple naruto]: callum

 

[dumbledore]: yes babe?

 

[dumbledore]: sweetie?

 

[dumbledore]: cutie pie?

 

[dumbledore]: love of my whole life?

 

[purple naruto]:  _ run _

 

[jock]: lol rip in pieces bro

 

[dumbledore]:  _ don’t joke about this soren your best friend is going to be murdered by a very hot elven assassin _

 

[jock]: im pretty sure ezran is fine tho

 

[purple naruto]:  _ compliments are not going to save your ass _

 

[dumbledore]: first of all: ouch

 

[dumbledore]: second: it doesn’t hurt to try right

 

[grumpy dad]: rayla, why are you so mad?

 

[grumpy dad]: it’s just a simple misunderstanding, there’s no need to get angry over it

 

[sunshine dad]: the teacher also mentioned that, since they were learning about the greek classics or something, the model should be naked to better emulate the paintings and the sculptures of that time

 

[sunshine dad]: 

 

[sunshine dad]: oh

 

[grumpy dad]: i’m coming

 

_ dumbsquad _

_ wednesday, 9:55 pm _

 

[dr.dolittle]: hey guys

 

[goth]: hi ezran

 

[goth]: tell me, did our lovely couple survive runaan’s interrogation?

 

[dr.dolittle]: i mean, it wasn’t so bad

 

[dr.dolittle]: they’re lucky tinker came along actually

 

[sunshine dad]: yeah i couldn't just let my husband murder our niece’s first boyfriend

 

[dr.dolittle]: the problem was when dad joined the conversation

 

[goth]:  _ ouch _

 

[jock]:  _ ouch _

 

[dr.dolittle]: i don’t think i have ever seen dad looking at callum like that

 

[dumbledore]: it was  _ horrible _

 

[dumbledore]: he was so disappointed with me

 

[dumbledore]: i was almost crying

 

[dumbledore]: it felt like shit

 

[purple naruto]: hey, it’s okay now  


 

[purple naruto]: we explained everything to him, it was like runaan said

 

[purple naruto]: just a misunderstanding

 

[dumbledore]: i know but

 

[dumbledore]: it feels like i abused your confidence, somehow

 

[purple naruto]: i was the one who agreed to do it

 

[purple naruto]: was it embarrassing? yes, of course

 

[purple naruto]: but it made us finally act on our feelings

 

[purple naruto]: and, if you want to know, i don’t regret it at all

 

[grumpy dad]: callum, i want to apologize

 

[grumpy dad]: i should not have acted like that with you and rayla

 

[grumpy dad]: i misinterpreted your actions, and it resulted in this mess

 

[grumpy dad]: i’m deeply sorry

 

[dumbledore]: it’s okay

 

[dumbledore]: rayla is your family, and you were just trying to protect her from some reckless hormonal teenage boy

 

[grumpy dad]: i apologize for calling you that, too

 

[dumbledore]: don’t worry

 

[goth]: he  _ is  _ reckless, tho

 

[dumbledore]: thanks for your addition claudia

 

[dumbledore]: it’s normal to lose your head a little when it comes to family

 

[dumbledore]: plus, i think i deserved it, a little

 

[purple naruto]: you didn’t, but we’re talking about this later

 

[purple naruto]: now, if you excuse me, i’m gonna cuddle with my boyfriend watching bad rom-coms until we pass out

 

[purple naruto]: bye!

 

[dumbledore]: i wasn’t aware of this, but bye i guess

 

[jock]: yo runaan

 

[grumpy dad]: yes, child

 

[jock]: are u just going to let them??? after all that???

 

[grumpy dad]: they had a very stressing night

 

[grumpy dad]: plus, callum’s a nice kid, and i feel like i was too harsh with him

 

[goth]: who knew that runaan of all people was such a softie

 

[grumpy dad]: also rayla has a bigger knife collection than mine and i am not willing to take the risk of angering her

 

[sunshine dad]: i think we raised her well, don’t you all agree?

 

[jock]: yeah

 

[jock]: ofc

 

[goth]: absolutely

 

[goth]: i could not have said it better

 

[sunshine dad]:  _ good _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh i really don't like how this one ends


End file.
